Hot fuzz :)

Thursday, October 29, 2009


This is something i wrote larelle

I have no clue if we are on speaking bases yet…? Lol But its whatever in the air I know I haven’t talked to you in over a week and a half which has been surprisingly cool… kind of because I didn’t want to seem like the type of person that’s you know what you called me crazy and annoying and childish. Thanks by the way. Ha ha jk But if we aren’t on a speaking bases I’d appreciate if your sister quits calling or texting or whatever I have no problems with her. But she made my older sister upset! Don’t worry I hate fights so I told her to chill and not to make a big deal that your sister was just being protective and you know sibling stuff. She’s still upset about the disrespected part but aside from that I don’t even think she cares very much. You don’t know much about me but I am the baby of the family and my siblings and friends are all older then me so when I have problems I tend to keep them to myself because I hate drama. I didn’t know that I made you get in a fight? I was pretty shocked that your sister said that I told you to get in that thing…? I plan on joining the peace core so that’s not something I would say or want. But its cool I hate bring things up from the past I can learn form them but I try not to live in the past. You know what I mean. Oh and I don’t care that you let your friends read what I write you lol ha ha I just found out last week that you share :P

Sorry its ton to read…

I love nerds babe

I have no problem with some of the things that you told them but some of it I’d rather them not know until I am willing to dish out stuff. I am so not a kiss and tell person. I am guessing from what I have heard that you are. I still want to be friends but lately you have been acting happy one second and sad the next. Your half right about me liking someone else I couldn’t truly say I liked you as a boyfriend but it was great as a thought. I haven’t ever before you dared to date a band person and yet
I did. In fact my best friend is in the band. It was a given that we didn’t match. You dumped me in the most absence way imaginable. But its okay its things like that which seem to bring me down to earth in fact I’d like you to be more then just a friend but less then a boyfriend. I tend not to select best friends by this way or manner. So you can be the first. You will be the first to know that I don’t really like Chris its just an on and off again thing. I don’t like anyone but this one person who’s head over hills for me as I am for him. His name is Robert E. Mansfield the 2nd. But that’s an other story lol J
Honestly I have no idea how you perceive me now. You might think that am a pretty smart girl who has her life set out for her or a chick that pretends a whole lot and has no idea what she’s doing next. Like really I want you to see the real side. I love playing games and I thought I told you I was a horrible girlfriend before I started dating you. I think that and my random acts and double personality are my only Faull’s. I will admit I was hurt when you dumped me but me but dating Chris right after was bound to happen I tend to do random acts when I am hurt/upset but I had no intentions on making you jealous I knew Chris still liked me and I wanted to see where it would go clearly I just don’t like him as much as I thought I would the second time around. I am so not a romantic type of person but I guess I came off clingy if you knew me well enough you would have thought that I was on crack or something I never get close and I always bail. You’re the 1st guy that I didn’t which was kind of mean of me in a way. I didn’t really get the letter you wrote but for the first time I felt what being dumped was like. No offence but of all people by you. I guess it doesn’t matter if you put “no offense” it always tends to be offensive. Anyways you prefect to be best friend quality, because you’re not going to want to date me and you know how to dress well and your smart and your only problem is for a best friend knows how to keep a secret. That’s huge for me I have a huge problem with people that can’t keep a zip on the lip if you know what I mean.

Rosa vintage

This is a letter i wrote to larelle
Yeah I guess it wasn’t fair of me to just drop it on you while your happy. I got a phone call from Trent and was too upset to text back after “… she makes you happy … I am cool with that.” Or something like that. It wouldn’t be right to me or you to say that I missed up on not wanting to move forward with you. I just know myself way to well. I was so happy well I always am until… I see you because it’s always what if? Wow, but I would hate to butt in with you and your girl friend. She seems really sweet and stuff and you pretty much seem to have liked her. It kills me to just let it all go even though the grown up side of me is like.. Okay we are still friends.
Its like gosh why her and not me in a way? My close friends are like have you seen Trent and then I am like yeah his super but his not you. I remember that I made a joke about how my friend called you something “prince charming” and I laughed and said that’s cute. So when I told my bestie about you having a girlfriend they had said “ His not prince charming his a toad.” I admit I laughed at the situation. I think the problem with me is that I like acting crazy and that’s what Trent is crazy but knows how to act like an adult but still have a good time. I was scared to date someone like you because you remind me of some guy that some how you ended up being like. Ha ha I guess its more of an inside joke. I was head over hills for him he felt the same way I never dated him but we did date other people. That’s why I would have hated to have dated you and knowing the way I am break up with you in three weeks. Terrell told me you wouldn’t wait. I am the type of person that for the most part likes backing off when I get too close to someone.
I am curious and wild yet super nice and out-going. My favorite color is gem green. I have wired food taste! J What else… I have only owned two dogs and one cat in my entire life. I don’t have them anymore. I hate smiling but the madder I am the more I will be smiling it depends if I am laughing. If I smile before I laugh I am upset but if I laugh before I smile I am happy. Uhm… the first year I was a veggie I missed meat. I never told anyone that before. My favorite board game is monopoly. I hate caring cash I never believed in money I am such a hippy when it comes to that kind of stuff. IDK if you noticed but the last sentences were random. Oh and sorry its sooooo long.

I am a sucker for L0^3

Do you know that there is these things were its said in Italian and its like…“L'amore è una maledizione, di amare qualcuno è una cavalla notte e di essere amato è beatitudine.” It’s really true in more ways then one. To love is a curse to be in love is a nightmare and to be loved is bliss. Anyways sorry about my best friend in art class I talked to him about it he didn’t mean to give you a look. Or whatever. I think that it’s funny how he explained it. So you know how I asked you to talk to me instead of me always having to talk to you. Well you still need work on that whole thing. But its okay I will let you slide because I talked to you about the whole weekend thing. Why didn’t you tell that girl in my English class anything..? : P and am I not suppose to tell people that I like you? I am so confused but whatever. Aside from some whatever moments yesterday I am thinking are whole friend things is going to work out just super! So anyways I would love to know you a whole lot better so I might ask your friends I hope you don’t mind and I hope they don’t either I’ll ask them I can tell when ppl don’t want me to ask questions. Even when they say yes. (Lol) I use to be like omg about everything and now I am more laid back about everything. It’s so cool I seem to be happier. So how are things with you? I promise to sit by you more often and not give you the cold shoulder I am sorry I think that I seem to get mad at the wrong people. I will explain it later but then again I rather not because its just going to make me upset its some pity stuff about this kid that I may or may not ever talk to because the way they act sometimes. I am going to do something crazy in December you’ll see in January its so funny. I don’t think that its going to be as bad as you say it will (hint: it starts with a “T”) lol Well have a great day or whatever, I just hope I get ungrounded Its so un cool why I got in trouble in the first place


Hot Red

My roy project for photo class
“ROY is NYC’s greatest photographer. The giant among those that know. Wonderful man, and shooter, hopes more see his work. A sad, sad Moment, but also a time to celebrate the richness of life.”
— Jeff Randall

“Smooth, silky, smoky and gentle; as formal as you might expect from the painter he once wanted to be, Roy DeCarava photographs speak in a language far softer than we’re accustomed to now.”

Roy Decarva was a hard working and inspiring African American artist aside from his well-known photographs Roy had an other dream that involved a great eye. He wanted to presume painting and it had become a part time job. But over all he needed to make ends meet and stubble into photography in which he found astonishing. Others were sure to
agree as his photos became more famous for the in depth vision that was shown. Roy has inspired many unknown as well as others.

Like a great jazz musician, DeCarava had a great photographic touch. He was an artist of the
camera. Knowing how to capture pure bliss in something that would draw a person to tiers.

He was born in December 9th of 1919 and pasted away in October 27th 2009 Many near have token notice of what a great inspiration of wisdom he gave before his final days.

Raised by a single mother he had grown up in the
least sunshine side of the states but aside from
where he began its where he had ended that had a
huge impact.

Roy Decarva was the first African American photographer to win a Guggenheim Fellowship and was awarded a National Medal of Arts in 2006.

Roy Rudolph DeCarava is his real full name.

DeCarava and poet Langston Hughes collaborated on a notable 1955 book on life in Harlem, The Sweet Flypaper of Life.

DeCarava graduated from Chelsea Vocational High School.

The Cooper Union, but left after two years to attend classes at the Harlem Art Center. Deciding early on that he wanted to be an artist, he began working as a
Painter and commercial illustrator, and many of his
early photographs were meant only as reference for serigraph prints. He was drawn to photography by “the directness of the medium,” and soon found
himself communicating the themes and ideas of his
paintings photographically. In 1955, DeCarava opened
A Photographer's Gallery.

He cherished the people, places, and events in his pictures and early on developed the means to express his affection.

He shoots using only ambient light, then prints so as to coax light expressively out of very dark images or, more rarely, to delineate darker detail in very light ones. The grays in his black-and-white pictures are velvety
and warm qualities he occasionally enhances by
purposely shooting out of focus or exposing long enough to show movement.

He also taught in Harlem as a professor of fine arts such as photos.

“I loved him. The short period of time I knew him I learn a lifetime worth of information. He was the
shooters, shooter, outstanding master of his craft and just an all around great person. My heart is saddened today!”
— Willie Middlebrook

I felt for a toad and not prince charming

I was like non-stop
i am in a state of shock and disappointment he could have done better and by better i meant me. Lol I am acting childish about the whole thing but whatever i have a right to. And i just know what his going to tell me oh well i really like her so sorry i mad you feel bad and i hope we can still be friends. Oh my gosh today after school i saw chris new girlfriend she looks so ugly and he got uglier so its no big deal i felt like laughing when i saw them. I kept talking about it during the entire day i was so mad! Every time i see her and her friends one of her friend always has to come up and say oh wheres your boyfriend i don't let it bug me right there and then but to say the truth if i was trashy and unlady like i would grab her head and kick the f**k out of her friends so what she won. Whoopy do duh.
Alex seemed to be the only honest person that told me flat out get over it. I was mad but its the truth and the truth hurts. I am going to avoid larelle on friday because i can't stand to see him to tell me to move on because he like his girlfriend.

Gosh how could he be dating that chick.... AND NOT ME!!!!!!
I wish he had told me that he liked someone else i am numb inside with anger and sadness i just can't think straight. I feel happy but i want to fell bad and cry this has only happened once before last year. Wow its the worst feeling its like you on auto mode. I hate how its controlling me.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

I never felt better.

Gosh i am having the best feeling about everything. I love how the day before yesterday on friday at lunch he called me "cute" i have been called that before or even better but i have never felt as happy and joyful as i did when he had called me that. I went for a walk for success and i saw everyone there and then afterwards i saw terrelle and i was like wow and i like him and everything and he asked me on a date and then again yesterday for today and now that i know that he doesn't want a girlfriend then i thin that i will pass.