Hot fuzz :)

Tuesday, September 15, 2009


I was never that type of person that trys to fit in i squeeze in where i am not wanted just to stand out.Like this thing that i wrote in Italian "Ti amo perché non posso amare gli altri hai bisogno di me come ho bisogno di te perché non c'è nessun altro che il primo e l'ultimo di tutto e di più ci sono così prendere me e io sarà sempre la vostra."Which in English means "I love you because i can not love others you need me just as i need you because there is no one else your the first and the last of anything and everything there is so take me and i will forever be yours." I am random which makes people wonder to know what not to know whats never been.Thats something that is something for sure what Americans do.I love them its just that they are too full of themselves.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

be mine

My best friend erik is a bit much but always can seem to make me laugh
" IDK but I know what you are talking about! Just threat them you will do something and be a bitch"

this was to chris wong
You haven’t spoken to me since the last time I’ve wrote you? I never meant for you to believe anything vague. Its some code thing and you wouldn’t understand its something between my friends and me. Since I was like five. But im super sweet and felt the need to say sorry. I feel bad that you don’t talk to me its pretty weird. If you wanted to no longer speak to me or just be neutral or whatever it would help if you spoke to me about it. I was upset at the fact that you were telling a couple of are friends about what had happen in Ohio and that includes my best friend tashi who I hadn’t told in detail what had happen but I come to find out you have I am not a kiss and tell type of person so If I seem distant or I seem like I am avoiding you I am trying not to so I will smile or say hi I want to try working this awkward vase out and transitioning to being normal ha.
But considering that I am almost a year older I will be a better person and stuff so if your free this weekend I am having some friend go to the movies and out to eat this weekend if you want to come?

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Baby Mama

In Loving Memory of Gloria Gemma

Our Hero

So tender and so gentle, as only she could be
For all that she believed in, as far as we could see
Was living life and having fun and don’t forget her love
For “angel” does describe her best along with her white dove.

She said to laugh and cry with joy, and don’t forget to sing
All the songs she’d taught us, like the wind beneath my wings.
That was her favorite song you know, so sing it out my dear
But don’t regret that she is gone, she hears you loud and clear!

Today we learned what hero means, she’d be so very proud
To see her name so brightly lit from atop her great white cloud.
She watches closely over us and guides us through each day
So please remember Gloria, each and every time you pray!

Not one of us would disagree, she left us way to soon
The only time we see her now is through the big bright moon.
Her legacy lives on today and those who knew her boast
That life and love and laughter too, are what she loved the most.

Support the fight against breast cancer.
Wear pink and spread the news about the movement. Yates High
School staff and students as well as others will be able to show their
support by wearing a pink ribbon. There will also be a
walk/run that will be occurring this month for donations.
Details will be available later this month.
Thank you!

Babe Doll

The roots of everything that mean more then just plain Jane kind of stuff to me are when I am a rain dancer in my dreams. Growing up I always use to run to the back of the yard before dinner. When I clearly knew it was about to rain because the cat would launch inside the door and the dogs would began to run wildly. I would start running in a circle and begin to chant at the top of my lungs without a care in the world what the neighbors thought. I didn’t care very much for being lady like when I was in the comfort of my own home.
My mother had a different option of what I should be doing. I love the out doors and I would go jumping on the tire swing and then roll myself down the hill. And act like my dogs were some kind of wild beast and then my brother and sister would be joining along with me. Then it would begin to rain and everything went off! I would state going in circles around the bomb fire and look at the burning light till I would start getting dizzy. I loved the good old days.



I’d appreciate if you can quit telling people I like you that’s super old I mean it I stopped liking you a long time ago. It’s so not true if you hear people telling you that I am saying we are talking or together or anything else. I am not that type of person. And I don’t play around with my friends. But I am really getting fed up of people telling me that they are hearing from your mouth that I like you still. Demarcus was lying I did I admit that part but unless I tell you that I still like you I’d advise you to quit telling people something that’s like over a mouth old. This is why I don’t like getting involved with people at the same place…
I guess I was childish about the whole mother problem I was just token away about the whole thing you know. Its like if I were to tell you that I had a kid or something I don’t but it’s just an example. Lol ha Well yeah sorry the first part of the note is so harsh I was just doing some stuff after school and are friends had told me that you had made it seem like I was still liking you and telling everyone that I did. I was just upset I was going to text you but then I had to type my report and I can type really fast so it’s like whatever.
J I hope that your not thinking I am mad at you for any reason you’re a cool friend. And I do mean just a friend lol j
I tend to go on about dumb things lol there is this thing this weekend and I didn’t know if you were free but I am inviting a couple of people you can come.

Friday, September 4, 2009


Fake & True

The truth will always hurt and that’s the main reason I hide it. Behind smiles and laughter deep down inside I am torn apart but hate and lies.
There’s a little truth behind every just kidding, a little curiosity behind every just wondering, a little knowledge behind every I don’t know, and a little emotion behind every I don’t care. I laugh as I type this because I know better then anyone else how catty girls can be. They are the lions upon the jungle and have no conclusion as to why they make others hate the way they look or feel. I admit I was mean I made girls want to be like me and hate themselves for being buetituful in their own special way. The cheerleader that life seemed perfect and always having long hair that flipped in the wind. Over the summer I realized my morals of friendship the girls I hung out with weren’t drug dealers but much rather cheerleaders but still made people feel bad and kill themselves over how they could fit in. It’s not fair for me to say that I was the best but I am getting better.

Ignoring his calls

Heart broken inside. I put some sunglasses on. It covers my eyes, which is like an open door to my soul. It’s mixed up and looks like something is missing. “ I was waiting for the longest time, she said. I thought you forgot. It is hard to forget, he said when there is such an empty space when you are gone.” You tossed me around like a rag doll and expected me to put up with it? You placed me on a petal stool just so that you could look up my skirt. Your wrong and I hate myself for what I thought I loved. I am over and I am done. So stop calling.

Staying up Late

What my best friends don’t know. I’m wild and crazy when you’re around. You put some candy in the popcorn right before the movie is on and while I am still painting my fingernails a hot pink color. We lay upon the soft pillows and I remember when I was younger… when my mother would come tuck me in. Give me a kiss and I would see the beam of light coming in threw the door when she would leave threw the crack of the door. It would keep me up and I would listen to you and dad fight about things. But I look to my friend in the bed next to me and smile and yell like crazy because I want to pretend to be like mommy. A ha yeah just like her mother like daughter like you always use to say…

The Color Red

The dark ages that I wish were sweet and less bitter. I look at you and you look back at me… I smile a little too much then I should have. You’re my best friend that is of the same kind. And in a split second I could careless of what others think. Because I’m in love with you more then any other guy. When I give someone a hug I’m wishing it were you I was hugging its wrong in so many ways but it feels so right. I miss playing pretend and when you would hold my hand. How we would go over to my place and how we use to act like Europeans and give each other kisses on the cheek and now its so much harder to tell you things that if I were five I could yell from the roof top. Bliss is something I wish I had again. But more then that I wish I could tell you what I think about you.

change my mind

Some how i came from thinking of what i was going to do and what i had done... to what i am doing.
Some ppl just go day to day on some train ride that keeps on going.Well i got off of that ride and boarded a space ship living in lala land is something that i consider to be very blissful.
Blank out and think..?
I stayed after school today to help the girls finish some posters that they had been making out in the front.I was upset at myself for making a mistake on one of them.But it was okay because i had made a couple of good ones.I love being happy too bad more then half the time i have no idea why.I try making up reasons why but regardless of the reasons i still feel plan inside.
I have a ton of things going on at my new school i am super glad that its this good.I wish the guys were a little less friendly if you know what i mean.
I joined all these things that i enjoy having something to be in charge of.
I like history the most my teacher is the bomb.He sometimes can be on the edge but its for the best.I can't hate everything.I tend to judge ppl very quickly based on the way they act but in more detail very hard to explain.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009


This is something i wrote larelle
You drive me crazy prince… something about everything you do seems to grasp my attention. Lol That didn’t make any since but you might get the whole thing later. It’s hard to look at you and not try smiling. I am head over hills for you. I think in a way its childish to say but then again its very much the truth. I don’t like how you always say “okay” to everything, and how you always make a joke and are so care free about big things but then again I think its very charismatic.
I can wait to date you that’s not the problem it’s the fact that I see you and…. Well I have no idea how to explain it and I don’t want to nag you about dating me I know you like me and I like you but I also know we both have major problems in and out of school. So now wouldn’t be the best time…
There is this thing that I think about sometimes and its like I want you but I don’t want you to do something that you don’t feel the need to do right then and there. Because honestly I don’t feel like dating anyone but then I see you and everything I think I know I want to do just disappears. I want to space out. Not like before were we wouldn’t talk that would just totally throw me overboard but like were when your ready to talk to me then go ahead and do it.
You’re a very closed off person and I have a random, crazy, and bubbly personality… so I will know that you truly want to be with someone as random and different (lol) as me when you decide to come to me instead of me to you. I think that’s its noticeable that I have been the goofy careless chick jk that seems to have a free spirit for the most part and take the chance.
Now I am going to let you have the loaded pistol and let you shot cowboy when you feel is best it will take the pressure off of me and let you be you. I love how you care without making a big deal over stuff. That’s tight!

i love the sunshine of random

Yeah I guess it wasn’t fair of me to just drop it on you while your happy. I got a phone call from Trent and was too upset to text back after “… she makes you happy … I am cool with that.” Or something like that. It wouldn’t be right to me or you to say that I missed up on not wanting to move forward with you. I just know myself way to well. I was so happy well I always am until… I see you because it’s always what if? Wow, but I would hate to butt in with you and your girl friend. She seems really sweet and stuff and you pretty much seem to have liked her. It kills me to just let it all go even though the grown up side of me is like.. Okay we are still friends.
Its like gosh why her and not me in a way? My close friends are like have you seen Trent and then I am like yeah his super but his not you. I remember that I made a joke about how my friend called you something “prince charming” and I laughed and said that’s cute. So when I told my bestie about you having a girlfriend they had said “ His not prince charming his a toad.” I admit I laughed at the situation. I think the problem with me is that I like acting crazy and that’s what Trent is crazy but knows how to act like an adult but still have a good time. I was scared to date someone like you because you remind me of some guy that some how you ended up being like. Ha ha I guess its more of an inside joke. I was head over hills for him he felt the same way I never dated him but we did date other people. That’s why I would have hated to have dated you and knowing the way I am break up with you in three weeks. Terrell told me you wouldn’t wait. I am the type of person that for the most part likes backing off when I get too close to someone.
I am curious and wild yet super nice and out-going. My favorite color is gem green. I have wired food taste! J What else… I have only owned two dogs and one cat in my entire life. I don’t have them anymore. I hate smiling but the madder I am the more I will be smiling it depends if I am laughing. If I smile before I laugh I am upset but if I laugh before I smile I am happy. Uhm… the first year I was a veggie I missed meat. I never told anyone that before. My favorite board game is monopoly. I hate caring cash I never believed in money I am such a hippy when it comes to that kind of stuff. IDK if you noticed but the last sentences were random. Oh and sorry its sooooo long.